Alright, so today I wanted to talk about a rough patch I went through, and how a particular card kept showing up – Judgement reversed. It wasn’t pretty, let me tell ya.
It all started a while back. I was feeling stuck, you know? Like I was just going through the motions. Work was work, life was… well, it was happening. I decided to pull some cards, just for myself, looking for a bit of a steer, or maybe just a kick in the pants. And there it was, Judgement, but upside down. First time, I thought, “Huh, okay, something to think about.”
The Annoying Repetition
But then it kept coming back. I swear, for like two weeks straight, almost every time I shuffled, boom – Judgement reversed. It got to the point where I’d almost dread seeing it. It felt like the universe was poking me with a stick, and not in a fun way.
I started getting really antsy. What was I supposed to be “judging” or “not judging”? Was I being too hard on myself? Or not hard enough? My head was a mess. I found myself second-guessing everything. Little decisions felt huge. Big decisions? Forget about it. Total paralysis.
My Internal Civil War
This is where it got really personal. I realized this card was reflecting my own internal battle. I was terrified of making the wrong move. Absolutely terrified. So, I just… didn’t move. At all. I was caught in this loop of self-doubt. Here’s what it looked like for me:
- Endless “what if” scenarios, mostly bad ones.
- Feeling like any choice I made would lead to disaster.
- Judging myself for not being clearer, for not “knowing” what to do.
- Avoiding any real self-reflection because, frankly, it felt too uncomfortable.
I’d try to ignore it. I’d put the deck away for a few days. “Nope, not dealing with you today,” I’d think. But that feeling, that sense of unease and being stuck in limbo, it didn’t go away just because I hid the card.
The Slow Thaw
It wasn’t like one big “aha!” moment. It was more like a slow dawning. I remember one evening, just staring at the card, feeling utterly defeated. And then it kind of clicked. This wasn’t about some external judgement coming my way. This was about me. I was the one holding myself hostage with all the doubt and fear. I was the one refusing to make a call, to learn, to move forward. I was avoiding my own inner truth, scared of what it might ask of me.
So, I started small. I stopped trying to force a big answer. Instead, I just tried to listen to that quieter voice, the one that was getting drowned out by all the fear. I asked myself, “What am I really afraid of here?” A lot of it was fear of failure, fear of what others might think, fear of not being good enough. Standard stuff, but it felt massive at the time.
What I Took Away
Dealing with that period of constant Judgement reversed showing up taught me a lot about my own patterns. It forced me to look at how I was sabotaging myself with indecision and self-criticism. It wasn’t about making some grand, perfect choice. It was about learning to trust myself a bit more, even when I didn’t have all the answers. It was about accepting that sometimes you just have to make a call and learn from it, whatever happens.
I still get that card reversed sometimes, and yeah, it still makes me pause. But now, instead of pure dread, it’s more of a reminder. A nudge to check in with myself, to see where I might be getting stuck in my own head, fearing my own shadow. It’s a process, right? Definitely not a one-and-done lesson, but one I’m glad I started learning.