Okay so here’s the deal. Today I wanna tell you exactly how I tried to get phone numbers fast here in LA. Not for anything creepy, just meeting people, networking, whatever. Heard a million strategies online, figured I’d test some myself.
The “Just Ask” Approach (Bold, maybe stupid?)
First idea seemed simple enough: walk right up to people and ask. Sounds easy when you say it fast. Went to Venice Beach because, well, everyone’s there and kinda expecting interaction, right?
- Attempt 1: Saw a cool guy skating. Waited for him to stop. Walked over. “Hey man, love the board! Mind if I get your number? Maybe grab coffee sometime?” Dude just kinda stared like I had ten heads. “Uhh… nah I’m good.” Tried a friendly smile, but nope. Result: Ice cold.
- Attempt 2: Girl painting near the pier. Complimented her work. Talked colors for like a minute. Seemed okay. Thought I had an “in.” “Your vibe is awesome, actually trying to meet more creative folks here. Can I get your digits?” Immediate shut down. “Sorry, I don’t really do that.” Result: Straight rejection.
Yeah… that direct path? Not fast. At all. Felt awkward as hell after two tries. Needed a different game plan.
The Coffee Shop Hang (Seemed promising?)
Switched gears. Thought, maybe a place where people sit down and linger? Hit a busy coffee shop on Melrose. Goal wasn’t even to ask outright yet, just be around people talking. Ordered my drink and camped near the group tables.
- Step 1: Eavesdropped. Sounds weird, but yeah. Tried to hear what folks were chatting about. Tech stuff? Movies? Whatever.
- Step 2: Tried to jump in. Waited for a lull near this group talking about some podcast. “Oh, hey, couldn’t help overhearing… [podcast name], right? That last episode was wild…”
- Step 3: Actually got some back-and-forth! One guy seemed interested. Talked for maybe five minutes about it. Felt like a win! Built up the courage. “This is cool! Actually trying to connect with more folks who are into this stuff. Mind if I grab your number?”
Guy seemed cool up till then. Suddenly got stiff. “Oh, uh… yeah, usually don’t give it out like that. No offense.” The whole group vibe just died. Result: Weird tension, finished my coffee alone. Slower than Venice, still no digits.
The “Friendly Bartender” Play (Old school works?)
Fine. Maybe daytime was wrong. Hit a chill bar in Silver Lake around happy hour. Not packed, just a few regulars at the bar itself. Sat down. Ordered a beer. Chatted up the bartender. Key here: Made ZERO moves to ask for her number. Focused on being genuinely friendly, making jokes about my failed attempts earlier (in a self-deprecating way).
- Bonus: Bartender chuckled. Seemed to relax. We just shot the breeze.
- Magic moment: Another solo guy sits nearby. Orders a drink. Bartender slides it over. We make eye contact. Bartender just casually goes, “[My fake name], this is Dave. Dave, [My fake name]. Both talking about stupid LA dating apps.”
Instant connection point. Dave and I both laugh. We start talking about bad dates. Turns out he works in music. Talked music forever. After like 40 minutes, swapping stories, beers down, it felt… natural. “Hey man, you’re cool as hell. We should hit that record store you mentioned sometime.” He immediately pulls his phone out. “Totally! Gimme your number, I’ll text you.” He hands it over. I type mine in. BOOM. Got one.
Later, just chatting with the bartender about music venues, she mentioned needing a ride to a show next week. Offered mine since I was going anyway. She went, “Cool, yeah actually that’d be helpful! Send me your info?” Boom. Number two.
The Brutal Honest Takeaway
So yeah, the Simple Steps I tested and what actually kinda worked?
- Forget cold approaching directly. Waste of time, feels terrible. Too fast doesn’t work.
- Forced networking spots (coffee shops)? Maybe… but hard to make numbers happen naturally. Often flops.
- The winner? Neutral ground where people hang longer (like a bar). Be genuinely cool, zero pressure, talk to EVERYONE (bartender first is key!). Let natural moments happen. Let the connection build even a little bit. Then exchanging numbers feels like the next step, not the mission. The bartender intro was pure gold.
Getting numbers “fast”? Relatively. Maybe 1-2 hours for a genuine connection instead of slamming into walls for hours. Speed isn’t the point though. It’s the comfort and context. LA needs that layer, my friends. Learned the hard way.