Why I Even Bothered With Astrology Certification
Honestly? I thought this whole astrology thing was complete nonsense before. Like most people, I just read those horoscope memes for laughs. But after my sister kept bugging me about her birth chart for months, I figured why not dive deeper.
First step was Googling around, which was a mess. Found this online course promising “professional certification” in 3 months. Signed up thinking it’d be cheap like those $20 Udemy courses. Nearly choked when they hit me with the payment page:
- Basic level: $497 for PDFs and pre-recorded videos
- Advanced: $899 adding “live mentorship”
- Master program: $1,499 with “business coaching”
Went with basic because come on – who pays rent with star signs? Downloaded all the materials and started cramming. Spent evenings after work memorizing planet movements and house meanings. My husband caught me muttering about Jupiter transits at 2am and thought I’d lost it.
What Actually Went Down During Certification
The exam part was wild. Had to do 10 live readings for strangers via video call while being graded. First three were disasters – told a Cancer lady her moon sign indicated “emotional fragility” and she hung up crying. Had to chug coffee and redo all my notes.
Surprisingly passed after practicing on my barista and mailman (free coffee for life now, btw). Took about 4 months total with life getting in the way. Real costs no one mentions:
- 200+ hours studying instead of Netflix binges
- All my friends avoiding me for “free readings”
- My dog chewing up the $120 course workbook
Was It Worth The Headache?
Straight up: financially? Not even close. Made maybe $300 doing paid readings so far. But unexpected perks:
- Suddenly understand why my Virgo mom reorganizes my kitchen every visit
- Stop stressing about career moves during Mercury retrograde
- Actually enjoy boring parties by secretly analyzing everyone’s charts
Would I recommend spending $500+? Only if money’s no object and you’re obsessed. The certificate just hangs in my bathroom now – turns out most clients don’t even ask for credentials. They just want to hear if their ex’s new fling will crash and burn. Learned way more from reddit forums than that overpriced course.
Final take? Useful for personal insight. Certifications? Mostly for show. Still glad I did it though – now I can annoy people with actual astro-jargon instead of generic horoscope crap.