You know, for the longest time, me and my partner were like oil and water when it came to arguments. Seriously, we’d get into these stupid little tiffs that would just escalate. We tried all that textbook advice, you know, ‘talk it out,’ ‘use I feel statements.’ Blah blah blah. Sometimes it worked, mostly it felt like we were just reading from a script and not getting anywhere real.
Then, I kinda fell backwards into looking at our astrology charts. I was super skeptical, thought it was all just fluff, like those newspaper horoscopes. But honestly, I was at a point where I’d try anything to stop the constant bickering over who left the milk out, you know?
So, What Did I Actually Do?
First thing, I got our birth charts done. Not just the sun signs, though that was a start. I looked at where our Moon signs were – that’s supposed to be about your emotions. And Mercury, for communication. It wasn’t like I became an expert overnight, just poked around, read a few things online, trying to piece it together.
And man, some of it hit close to home. My partner’s chart, for example, pretty much screamed ‘needs space to process when stressed.’ And mine? Total opposite. I’m the type who wants to hash it out, right then and there. Seeing it written down like that, in black and white, was… interesting.
How It Played Out in Real Life
This is where it got practical. So, next time we’d have a disagreement and my partner would clam up, instead of me getting all huffy and thinking they were ignoring me, I’d try to remember. Okay, their chart says they need to retreat. It’s not personal. It wasn’t easy at first, my instinct was still to push.
And for my part, I tried to explain that when I wanted to talk, it wasn’t to nag or pick a fight, but that’s just how my brain works through stuff. It sort of gave us a… I don’t know, a different language to use. Instead of ‘you always do this,’ it became more like, ‘ah, that’s your astrological trait showing up, and this is mine.’
We even started noticing patterns:
- When they got quiet, I learned to give them an hour or two instead of chasing them down.
- When I felt that urge to ‘fix it now,’ I’d try to take a breath and see if it could wait, or if I could explain my need calmly.
- We’d sometimes even joke, ‘Oh, is your Mars flaring up again?’ Took some of the sting out of it.
But Here’s the Catch…
Now, don’t go thinking astrology is some magic wand. It absolutely isn’t. You can’t just blame your bad behavior on your Saturn return or whatever. That’s a cop-out. It’s a tool for understanding, not an excuse slip. We still had to do the actual work of communicating and compromising. It just gave us a few more clues about why the other person was reacting the way they were.
It’s like, knowing someone is, say, a fiery Aries doesn’t mean you just let them steamroll you. But it might help you understand their initial explosive reaction isn’t necessarily a deep-seated hatred for you, just their default mode. You still gotta deal with the behavior, but the understanding part can soften the edges.
So, yeah. That was my little experiment. It didn’t turn us into the perfect couple overnight, far from it. But it did dial down the intensity of our conflicts a notch or two. Gave us a bit of space to breathe and see each other’s quirks as just… quirks, not personal attacks. Worth a shot if you’re pulling your hair out, I guess. Just don’t expect it to do all the heavy lifting for you.