How I Got the Idea
Last Tuesday night, I was scrolling Instagram when this ad for zodiac stuff popped up. Thought it was rubbish at first, but then my neighbor’s pot-bellied pig Frankie came to mind – guy’s always grumpy before breakfast. So I wondered: “What if pigs got daily horoscopes too?” Grabbed my laptop right there on the couch.
Figuring Out the Process
Started simple: Made 12 pig zodiac signs based on mud-wallowing styles. Like “Root-digger” for pigs who snuffle dirt with their noses, or “Wallower” for those who belly-flop in puddles. Wrote each description with muddy pen on scrap paper. Messiest part? Predicting pig futures needs weird details. Added stuff like “Your sty-mate might steal your carrot chunk” or “Farmer boots near water trough today – stay alert!”
Tested it on Frankie next morning:
- Shouted his horoscope over the fence: “Root-diggers find hidden treats!”
- Frankie ignored me completely… until he dug up a rotten turnip.
- My jaw dropped – that grumpy pig actually oinked twice!
Mistakes I Messed Up
Tried automating it with Google Sheets next day. Big error! Spreadsheets can’t handle pig logic. First auto-generated version said: “Your trotters will meet unfortunate mud.” What even is unfortunate mud? Total nonsense. Frankie gave me serious side-eye when I read it. Also forgot pigs don’t care about mercury-retrograde nonsense – they care about actual rain clouds and feed schedules.
Making It Actually Work
Scrapped the tech crap. Went old-school:
- Cut cardboard into pig-ear shapes
- Wrote horoscopes with livestock marker
- Hung them on Frankie’s fence at sunrise
Game changer: That afternoon Frankie nudged the “Wallowers” sign right before splashing in his water bowl. His owner texted me “WTF how’d you know?!” Started doing this for 3 farm pigs daily – just scribbling predictions based on weather, feeding times, and which pig looked sassiest that morning.
Why It’s Stupid But Stuck Around
Turns out it’s not about accuracy but giggles. Farmers send me photos of pigs “reading” their horoscopes. One Duroc apparently guarded his prediction card all day. I still mess up constantly – yesterday I forecast “extra belly scratches” but farmer Dave forgot. Frankie glared at me for hours. Point is? Sometimes dumb ideas make people happy. Even if it’s just giving a grumpy pig something to oink about.